


Maybe My Heart Needs to Break to be Sure

by tiniestmite



Category: 9-1-1: Lone Star (TV 2020)
Genre: Angst, Arguing, Broken Bones, Car Accidents, Hospitals, M/M, Whump, idk how to tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-27
Updated: 2021-02-27
Packaged: 2021-03-18 03:47:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,133
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29727840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tiniestmite/pseuds/tiniestmite
Summary: “Carlos,” TK all but yells. Instead of the firm tone he had heard prior, it comes out more panicked.It isn’t until Carlos whips his head back to the road following TK’s gaze that he sees the deer standing in the middle of their lane. Knowing it’s too late to slam on his breaks, Carlos panics and does the only thing he can to avoid hitting the live animal; he swerves, turning the steering wheel all the way to the right and crashing through the fence, into the trees off the side of the road.~~Or after the fiasco at the farmer's market, TK and Carlos don't exactly make it home.
Relationships: Carlos Reyes/TK Strand
Comments: 17
Kudos: 254





	Maybe My Heart Needs to Break to be Sure

**Author's Note:**

  * For [terramous](https://archiveofourown.org/users/terramous/gifts).



> Dedicated to my number 1 fic supporter, Maximus, on day of birth. 💗

“I was thinking that the raspberry jam we picked up would go great with this recipe I’ve been meaning to try.”

“Maybe,” TK replies, not breaking his stare outside the passenger side window.

This is the second time Carlos has tried to make conversation on their ride home, only to be met with a dead end. He can’t stand it. The tension bubbling at the surface, just waiting to spill over. The silence that fills the car only makes him more anxious.

“We didn’t make it to that table that apparently has the best guacamole in the entire region today. We should definitely try to get to that side of the market next time,” he tries again, hoping to elicit some response from the man sitting next to him.

When TK merely mumbles a response, Carlos grips the steering wheel tighter, focusing all of his attention on the road ahead. Clearly the other man is not in the mood to talk, and pressing him harder on it isn’t doing either of them any favors.

But he can’t help it. His mind runs through everything that played out this afternoon. He had picked up on the mood shift after they unexpectedly ran into his parents. Sure the interaction was awkward, but was it awkward enough to put TK in a sour mood and ignore him for their entire drive home? 

The more he thinks about it, the more he can’t stand the tension hanging in the air. The silence between them only grows more deafening until he can’t stand it anymore.

“Okay, spill. What’s on your mind, TK?”

TK jumps slightly at the shift in tone, turning to finally look at Carlos before he speaks up. “What do you mean?”

“What’s wrong?”

“What makes you think somethings wrong?”

There’s no bite in his tone, but Carlos has spent enough time with him to notice that something is in fact wrong; TK just doesn’t want to come right out and say it. “You’ve barely said anything since we left the farmer’s market and you can’t even look me in the eye, so I think I have a right to ask what’s on your mind.”

“Are you asking me or ‘TJ’?”

Carlos stiffens.  _ Oh. _ “Is that what this is about?” he says, trying to deescalate the conversation. “That I didn’t correct my mom? Because she gets people’s names wrong all the time and next time-”

“No,” TK cuts him off. “You didn’t correct her because you don’t think there will be a next time. You didn’t even want me to meet your parents and then when we did, you called me your friend.”

Carlos tries to keep his composure. The car is not the place to be having this kind of conversation. He can feel the air getting thinner as TK’s glare grows more intense. 

“I thought you were out to them,” TK continues.

“I am,” he sighs. “It’s just complicated, okay?”

“What’s complicated about it, Carlos? What’s complicated about telling your parents you have someone who loves you, and that you supposedly love back? ”

TK’s tone is only getting more firm to the point that he’s practically yelling. Carlos tries to take a few steady breaths to swallow the mounting anxiety attack he feels coming on. He sighs again, turning to face the other man. His heart breaks at the look of pain on his face. “TK,” he says exasperatedly, wanting a chance to explain more. 

“Carlos,” TK all but yells. Instead of the firm tone he had heard prior, it comes out more panicked.

It isn’t until Carlos whips his head back to the road following TK’s gaze that he sees the deer standing in the middle of their lane. Knowing it’s too late to slam on his breaks, Carlos panics and does the only thing he can to avoid hitting the live animal; he swerves, turning the steering wheel all the way to the right and crashing through the fence, into the trees off the side of the road.

He only blacks out for a few seconds. Or at least he thinks he does, but there’s really no way for him to know for sure. The only thing he knows is that when he opens his eyes he is met with a web of cracks in his windshield and a pain that radiates from his head and throughout his entire body. 

When he goes to move, he finds himself pinned down from the steering wheel and dashboard. He can just barely move his legs, which while a good sign, the pain he feels when he tries to move his right leg makes him want to scream. 

“Carlos?”

He breaks from his thoughts to turn to TK. Gone is the animosity from their fight just a few minutes ago. Now his voice is shaky and scared, his green eyes wide and filled with fear as he takes in Carlos’ appearance. 

“Are you okay?” Caros asks. 

“Yeah, I’m fine. Are you?”

The uncertainty in TK’s voice and the way he is closely clutching his arm to his chest would indicate otherwise. “Yeah,” he plays along. They are both fine, as in they are both alive. That’s what matters right now. “Have you tried calling for help?”

“My phone isn’t getting any service.”

Carlos grimaces as he reaches towards his phone resting the cupholder between their seats. He silently curses and shakes his head when he turns it on only to find zero bars on the top of his screen. 

That’s the bad thing about driving out to the farmers market on the outskirts of Austin. Sure there were plenty they could attend within the city, but this is the same one he grew up attending when he would spend days on his family’s ranch. Some of his fondest memories were mornings spent with his aunt and uncle, selling produce at one of the stands. Early on in their relationship, he made it a point to take TK there and build more fond memories even though it was quite out of the way.

Unfortunately ‘out of the way’ also included driving on a few winding backgrounds with no cell service and a large deer population, apparently. 

Silence once again fills the car. This time in addition to the weight of their fight that goes unspoken, there’s the tension of trying to figure out how the hell are they going to get out of this. If Carlos thought the quiet was driving him crazy before, it’s even worse now.

The pain in his head is only getting worse, and he can feel himself losing consciousness. He needs to talk. They need to talk. “TK,” he tries tentatively.

He can see the other man shift uncomfortably out of the corner of his eye. He knows where this conversation is going. “I don’t think we should talk about this now, Carlos.”

“But,” he sighs. Before he can continue, TK quickly changes the subject.

“We should try to get out and go find help.”

“I don’t think I can move,” Carlos says, which is the truth. While TK is clearly still in pain, he at least has more freedom to move and is already reaching toward his door handle. Carlos’ movements on the other hand are still restricted by the dashboard digging into his frame. 

TK nods, pushing his door open with his left arm while still managing to keep his right close to his chest. If Carlos had to guess, by the looks of it he would say that the other man’s shoulder is probably dislocated. Though of course TK isn’t going to say anything about it. It’s in his blood to worry more about the people around him, and put other people’s safety above his own.

With a few pushes, the passenger door opens and TK all but stumbles out before running to the driver’s side attempting to get Carlos’ door open. It takes a few tugs but TK is able to get it open. Now up close to him, Carlos can see the blood dripping down TK’s face from the gash on the side of his head. 

He wants to tell him to slow down and take a breath, to take care of his own injuries rather than trying to help Carlos. But he knows from the look in his eye that the other man has slipped into first responder mode and it would be no use trying to bring him back now.

“Can you move at all?” TK asks, cautiously looking Carlos up and down, examining the situation. 

“Not really. I’m pinned in pretty tight and I’m pretty sure my leg is broken.”

“Okay,” he nods. “I’m going to get you out.”

Carlos opens his mouth to protest. He can see the wound on TK’s head has yet to stop bleeding. More concerningly, his shoulder is also still giving him grief if the pained expression painting his face is any indication. Using his uninjured arm to assist Carlos, the dislocated joint hangs helplessly at his side.

However, he allows TK to assist him out, at least as much as he can without risk of injuring himself further. He knows that sitting and waiting for help isn’t an option. This is their only shot of making it out of here alive.

He grimaces as TK tries to relieve the pressure from the steering wheel on his chest. The firefighter isn’t much use without any equipment and only one working arm, but he is trying his best. 

Miraculously with a few maneuvers, he is able to wiggle Carlos out of the driver seat and guide him gently onto the ground. Without the pressure of the dashboard pressing against him, Carlos can feel the pain echoing throughout his body. His head spins from the discomfort, and he can now confirm that his leg is in fact broken.

He perches up when he feels a tightening around his leg, looking up to meet TK’s eye as the other man ties a tourniquet around his leg. “The bone broke the skin. We need to stop the bleeding.”

Carlos nods, laying back down as the blood rushes from his head. “Are you okay?”

“I’m not the one bleeding out, Carlos.”

He leans up on his elbows again to look at TK. “Pretty sure your head would indicate otherwise,” he says, with a nod to the gash on his forehead. “And I’m no paramedic, but I’m pretty sure that shoulder isn’t supposed to be hanging like that.”

TK glances down, quickly grabbing his shoulder to hold it close to his chest. “It’s fine,” he brushes Carlos off. “I finished the tourniquet. That should slow the bleeding enough for us to get help.”

“And how do you suggest we do that?” he asks, knowing how hard it was to get from the car to the ground. Any further attempt to move does not sound appealing at the moment.

TK doesn’t answer. He looks around at their surroundings, hoping for any sign of a way to get them out of this situation, before returning his gaze back to Carlos. Beyond the fear and worry in his eyes, Carlos can also see the sadness. The words from their fight leading up to this moment play on repeat in his head. He wants to say something, to say anything that would get rid of the look in his boyfriends eyes. 

“I’m sorry, TK,” he finally says, before laying back down. 

“Carlos,” TK sighs. 

He waits for TK to say more, unsure of what else he should say. This isn’t exactly the right time to explain why he said what he said. 

Even if he did know what to say, he can feel himself struggling to keep his eyes open. 

TK must notice because he perks up. “Carlos,” he says, this time more firm.

He wants to respond, to tell TK that it’s going to be okay and that he does love him. But he feels himself slipping further and further into unconsciousness.

“Hey, no, Carlos. You have to stay with me. Please. Carlos, stay awake.”

He tries to say something. But he loses the fight and the last thing he sees is TK’s worried expression as darkness overtakes his vision.

* * *

The awareness comes back in bits and pieces. He can feel pain and hear hushed voices around him, but can’t bring himself to open his eyes before he slips back into a restful sleep.

The next time he’s aware, he forces himself to open his eyes, taking in his surroundings. This isn’t his first time waking up in the hospital; the bleak surroundings and never-ending wires stemming from his body are never a welcome sight. 

What is a better sight is the image of TK sitting next to his bed, fast asleep. Carlos can’t help but notice how uncomfortable his boyfriend looks. His right arm is now fastly secured against his chest in a sling, and his forehead is sporting a fresh bandage. 

“He hasn’t left your side,” a voice from the other side of the room says . 

Carlos glances over and spots Paul sitting comfortably in the other chair to his right. He shifts to try and face the other man more but stops short with a grimace as he moves his body.

Paul reaches over to ease Carlos back down, with a hand resting gently on his shoulder. “Yeah I wouldn’t do that,” he adds, nodding down to Carlos’ right leg, which he now can see is in a long white cast. 

“Is TK okay?”

The other man chuckles lightly. “Well he’s a little worse for wear, and probably should be in his own hospital bed. But he insisted on signing the discharge papers against medical advice so he could sit with you.”

Carlos can’t help the smile that forms on his face at the thought, turning once again to take in TK’s sleeping form. While he is concerned that his boyfriend isn’t taking care of himself, it warms his heart that he would be so worried. Especially remembering all that led up to this moment.

The smile falls from his face as he turns to meet Paul’s eye and prepares to ask his next question. “What happened?”

Paul sighs. “After you passed out, TK was able to flag down another driver and call for help. It took a while, and once you guys got to the hospital, they took you right back to surgery to fix your leg. You got out of surgery a few hours ago.”

Carlos nods, taking in the information. 

“It’s not my place to say, but is there something up between you guys? I noticed TK was a little off, and it was more than just normal worrying.” 

Of course Paul would be able to read between the lines and notice something was going on. As he opens his mouth to answer, he notices TK beginning to stir out of the corner of his eye.

“TK?”

TK’s eyes dart open and he takes in Carlos’ appearance. “You’re awake,” he says softly.

Carlos nods. The excitement of the reunion is short lived, with a wave of awkwardness washing over his hospital room. Meeting TK’s eye, he’s unsure what exactly he’s supposed to say, and he can only assume the same thoughts are running through TK’s head as well. 

“Okay, I’m going to head out,” Paul interjects, excusing himself. “Feel better soon, both of you.”

They both watch Paul walk out the door. When the other man is out of sight, Carlos finds himself looking down at his hands, unable to look TK in the eye. 

“It’s nice that Paul came to sit with you,” he says quietly, still not looking up.

“Yeah. He was worried about you.”

Carlos nods, letting the silence take over the room before he speaks up again. “You saved my life.”

“That’s what friends do, right?”

With that comment, Carlos looks up and finds TK looking at him intently, his eyes laced with hurt.

“TK,” Carlos coaxes. He wants to continue the conversation from earlier, but if the car wasn’t the place for that talk, then a hospital room is only a worse option. 

“It’s fine, Carlos. You don’t have to explain yourself,” TK presses his lips together with a weak smile. “I’m just glad we are on the same page now.”

Carlos sighs, hanging his head. “My parents do know I’m gay. But I came out to them when I was 17 and I knew they were shocked. It rocked their world. But they hugged me and told me they loved me, and that was that. We never talked about it again.” 

He looks up to meet TK’s eye, seeing the other man watching him, a mix of hurt yet understanding painted across his face. “I’m sorry that I put you in this position, and that I made you doubt my commitment to you. This isn’t how I wanted to have this conversation. I just,” he sighs. “I’m really sorry, TK.”

“Hey,” TK leans over grabbing Carlos’ hand with his good hand that is not currently in a sling. “I can be whatever you need me to be. Okay? I am fully on board. I will be your friend from work, your colleague, your personal shopper. Whatever you need.”

Carlos gives TK’s hand a light squeeze. “Thank you.”

“I almost lost you today. I’d rather have you in my life and be known to your parents as your friend, than not have you at all.”

Carlos smiles, soaking up TK’s warm, genuine look. He can’t stop the tears that well up in his eyes as he wonders how he got so lucky to have a man as great as TK in his life. And he knows with a warm certainty that he wants TK to share in all parts of his life. 

He clears his throat, trying to quickly blink away the tears before TK notices. “Do my parents know about the accident?”

“Yeah, the hospital contacted them,” TK nods. “I can leave when they come, don’t worry.” he adds, with a reassuring smile.

“No,” Carlos quickly says, trying to figure out how to explain that wasn’t why he was asking. “I want you to stay.”

“But, Carlos. I think-”

“Stay. Please,” he cuts him off. “I think you and my parents deserve proper introduction.”

TK looks hesitant at first, but soon relaxes and nods. “Okay, I will stay then.”

“Good,” Carlos says, bringing TK’s hand up to his mouth to press a soft kiss to the back of his palm. 

Maybe this isn’t how he would have planned it, given the choice, but he does want to try that whole meeting again: he wants TK to meet his parents, for real. He wants to introduce his boyfriend to his parents, the right way this time.

**Author's Note:**

> I tried to reflect the conversations that happened in 2.04 without copying them and making them fit the situation better but idk how i did. anyway i would love to hear thoughts and feedback!


End file.
